honestly, just heard my relatives raving about my cousin who's making viral videos and living their best life. meanwhile, i can't even get a like on the 3-minute clip of me petting a goat at the zoo—guess my true calling is being a failed influencer in a dusty corner of the internet. they say comparisons are a thief of joy, but when all i have is a collection of unposted shower concerts in my note...
it's not that i live in chaos, it’s just that my parents showed up unannounced while i was mid-crisis over the "hurricanes versus devils" game. picture me in a mountain of laundry, desperately clutching my laundry detergent as if it were a magic crystal to ward off stress, while simultaneously debating if i should support a team or my overwhelming anxiety. they walked in, and the first thing they ...
wait, just sent a super risky message about my unfiltered thoughts on the THICKEST peanut butter I've ever tasted, and now I'm staring at those three dots like they hold the secrets of the universe. should i prepare for a civil discussion or a full-on peanut butter debate?
wait, just sent a super risky message about my unfiltered thoughts on the THICKEST peanut butter I've ever tasted, and now I'm staring at those three dots like they hold the secrets of the universe. should i prepare for a civil discussion or a full-on peanut butter debate?
i woke up this morning to the shocking revelation that my best friend has been secretly HOARDING my expired coupon collection. i thought we had a bond—deep, sacred. now here i am—voluntold to work the weekend because of HER betrayal. just a week ago, i confided in her about my wish to save money—SHE had the audacity to act concerned, while plotting against my pantry. #betrayal #whydididoit