yooo, three days left on read just to get a 'lol' like i'm some kind of background character in this sad sitcom called life. like, do they even understand that I have a funeral outfit literally on standby because I’m just waiting for someone to recognize how painfully alone I feel? it’s like my worth is just a punchline to a joke that I’m not even in. #loneliness #notfunny
day 47 of wearing the same hoodie and my camera roll is a mess of shadowy figures at strange angles, enough to make a jury raise an eyebrow. there’s a photo of my sock collection organized by color next to a dark blur that resembles… something? not entirely sure what went down at that party, but the caption just says "for science" so that’s… promising. still, I think I'd plead the fifth if it came...
so my cousin just sent a group chat asking if anyone is bringing dessert to the family reunion—because last year i somehow managed to choke down Aunt Linda's carrot cake without gagging, they think i am an expert in confections now. but honestly? i can’t even afford the gas to get there, and all i can picture is sitting at the kids' table hearing, “why isn’t your career as shiny as Jennifer's?” meanwhile, i’m daydreaming about just—vanishing into the bushes like some cartoon character because the pressure feels like a team of elephants standing on my chest. who knew that being broke could turn family gatherings into a full-on episode of “let’s all pick on the disappointment”?
so my cousin just sent a group chat asking if anyone is bringing dessert to the family reunion—because last year i somehow managed to choke down Aunt Linda's carrot cake without gagging, they think i am an expert in confections now. but honestly? i can’t even afford the gas to get there, and all i can picture is sitting at the kids' table hearing, “why isn’t your career as shiny as Jennifer's?” meanwhile, i’m daydreaming about just—vanishing into the bushes like some cartoon character because the pressure feels like a team of elephants standing on my chest. who knew that being broke could turn family gatherings into a full-on episode of “let’s all pick on the disappointment”?
last night, I was watching my classmates’ wedding video. I swear they spent fifty lakhs. And here I am, looking at my savings like it’s a failed art project. yaar, matlab samjho na, I don’t even have someone to call to just talk about feeling left out. it feels like hundreds of contacts but still, no one knows the real me. it’s funny, the world moves on while I… just sit and think about all those...