it’s 3 am and i just realized that turning down the opportunity to own a POND might’ve been my biggest mistake. like, how was i supposed to know the universe wanted me to raise frogs instead of cats? i literally watched my neighbor flourish while simultaneously throwing a literal frog ballet, and honestly, part of me thinks i could’ve been a LEAPING legend too. instead, i'm over here googling "am ...
yooo, so I discovered my neighbor's secret stash of glitter—like, an ungodly amount of glitter, in every shade imaginable. it's tucked away behind their garden gnomes, looking like a disco ball exploded in their backyard. and now, I have a dilemma—do I tell them I know, risking my entire relationship with the only person who appreciates my weird obsessions? but what if I turn them in? I mean, what...
not gonna lie, I once literally got caught red-handed in a public bathroom attempting to create a human sculpture out of hand soap. like, I was totally focused, convinced I could make something majestic, when suddenly this stranger walks in, and I just froze, hands covered in foamy disaster. their look was so priceless I kinda wished I had my phone to capture it—like, here I am in a quest for artistic glory, and they’re probably thinking I’m the local soap Picasso or something.
not gonna lie, I once literally got caught red-handed in a public bathroom attempting to create a human sculpture out of hand soap. like, I was totally focused, convinced I could make something majestic, when suddenly this stranger walks in, and I just froze, hands covered in foamy disaster. their look was so priceless I kinda wished I had my phone to capture it—like, here I am in a quest for artistic glory, and they’re probably thinking I’m the local soap Picasso or something.
yooo, so I was in this pottery class, right? and the instructor goes, “you really need to feel the clay, embrace it.” so there I am, palms sweaty, acting like I’m in a therapy session. bruh, when they asked how it felt to create, I panicked and said, “thank you?” like I just got a free sample at a farmer’s market. now I’m the person who claps at movies just for showing up, and I can't even...