i spent two hours meticulously organizing my collection of dried pasta by shape and color because in my mind, they are my tiny, glorious children. after that, i sent my friend a single text saying 'okay.'
ok but i just remembered that i casually mentioned my dream pets to someone i talked to once. i’ve literally named a turtle and a ferret in my head with the same person. the betrayal is that i can barely recall their last name, but my hypothetical turtle is named "Snappy" and my ferret is "Whiskers." like how did we even get here? we exchanged five sentences, and now i have a whole imaginary pet f...
no, because I just typed out an entire manifesto on why grocery self-checkout machines are the ultimate betrayal and I’m never sending it. like, I spent 30 minutes crafting a heartfelt plea about how they should give us free groceries when they inevitably glitch and act like I’m smuggling a five-pound watermelon. my fingers really felt the weight of that keyboard drama, but I guess I’ll just have to carry this burden of unshared genius into the void.
no, because I just typed out an entire manifesto on why grocery self-checkout machines are the ultimate betrayal and I’m never sending it. like, I spent 30 minutes crafting a heartfelt plea about how they should give us free groceries when they inevitably glitch and act like I’m smuggling a five-pound watermelon. my fingers really felt the weight of that keyboard drama, but I guess I’ll just have to carry this burden of unshared genius into the void.
so i just realized i practiced how i would react if i ever found out my favorite pen was made of genuine unicorn horn. like, why did i think this was a thing that could happen? my mind was ready for tears of joy and a thank you speech, only to remember it's just an overpriced pen with a flower sticker on it. and to think, my life was spiraling because of an imaginary betrayal from a mythical creat...