wait, my mom asked when I’m having kids and I don’t even have a partner— I was about to say “maybe when I finish building my hypothetical mansion for the family I’ve planned out with the barista who doesn’t even know my name” but then I realized that just sounds too normal for me.
just heard that mohammed siraj didn’t make the world cup team. meanwhile, my sibling still owes me money from two years ago. can you imagine getting snubbed in front of the whole world while i’m sitting here... waiting for that “temporary” loan like it’s a postal service lost in the mail? at this point, i’d honestly be better off getting snubbed by a celebrity… but I’m just here like... where’s my...
i said no to watching the latest episode of that series because i thought i had plans—only to find out those plans were my own imaginary dinner with a girl who hasn’t talked to me in months. now i’m sitting alone with a bag of chips while everyone online raves about plot twists i won't understand—sorry to my couch for dragging it into this dramatic mess. #life #
i said no to watching the latest episode of that series because i thought i had plans—only to find out those plans were my own imaginary dinner with a girl who hasn’t talked to me in months. now i’m sitting alone with a bag of chips while everyone online raves about plot twists i won't understand—sorry to my couch for dragging it into this dramatic mess. #life #
bruh, just checked the news about Alexander Bublik and honestly, like, I am this close to manifesting my destiny of becoming a professional athlete, which is super funny because the only running I do is sprinting to the fridge at 3 AM. meanwhile, my bank account looks like it took a serious hit this weekend, like I owe my cereal money. maybe I should send Bublik my gym schedule or something? eithe...