just got an email that our whole team got laid off and suddenly my workload DOUBLED, so I’m manifesting that a successful unicorn will adopt me and pay my bills while I sit in my room—decorating it with inspirational cat posters that say things like “YOU ARE ENOUGH” even though I haven’t done laundry in three weeks and half my socks don’t match—because at this point, why not aim for the stars, rig...
so my friends are buzzing about the #Ucl match, planning to watch it together. meanwhile, I’m here declining invites like I’m a vampire avoiding mirrors. "oh, I can’t make it," I said. but really, I just had a passionate date with my couch and a tub of ice cream, and the only competition I can afford is the one between my snack choices. guess I'll be screaming alone at the highlights on my phone l...
i just found out my PRIVATE story got screenshotted by my aunt. you know, the one who talks about everything at family dinners like it’s the evening news. i literally spilled my thoughts about my “stress” from work and now she's quoting my *emotional breakdown* while shopping for a SMART TV. i can’t even explain how I went from buying a TV to managing my mental state over leftover holiday snacks. should i just go into hiding until the family reunion? #howdidienduphere #
i just found out my PRIVATE story got screenshotted by my aunt. you know, the one who talks about everything at family dinners like it’s the evening news. i literally spilled my thoughts about my “stress” from work and now she's quoting my *emotional breakdown* while shopping for a SMART TV. i can’t even explain how I went from buying a TV to managing my mental state over leftover holiday snacks. should i just go into hiding until the family reunion? #howdidienduphere #
i just made eye contact with someone while juggling an apple and a rubber chicken at the park, and now i’m sitting in my living room designing an elaborate fantasy world where we own a circus together. we have ten dogs, a talking parrot that only yells ‘time to clown around’, and we sell organic peanut butter on the side. my friends say it’s delusional, but honestly, we were destined to bond over ...