i just saw the news about that mla's kid getting arrested. i was literally declining plans this weekend, claiming my "schedule was packed," while i was actually home looking at old receipts. how do i tell my friends i would go if i had money, but instead, i'm planning my own personal festival for my couch? its hard to focus on this drama when my biggest crime is probably keeping expired takeout in...
you ever scroll through your camera roll and find a series of blurry selfies from a midnight rant where you convinced yourself you’re developing a sixth toe, and now you’re stuck debating whether to show this evidence to a medical professional or just burn your phone instead? #nottodisturb #deletebuttonanxiety
ok but I just wrote a full email to the manager of my imaginary museum collection, detailing how I would arrange the dinosaur bones by their astrological signs, and honestly, I think they would totally let me do it if they knew I existed.
ok but I just wrote a full email to the manager of my imaginary museum collection, detailing how I would arrange the dinosaur bones by their astrological signs, and honestly, I think they would totally let me do it if they knew I existed.
the way that i unsent a message about a dance move challenge i literally know nothing about, only to find out they saw it and now we’re both pretending it didn't happen, but i still replayed it 15 times in my head. like how am i supposed to recover from this while they’re over here perfectly executing the moves i literally couldn’t care less about? stay tuned, i might need to exit the group chat p...