the way that i just got voluntold to monitor the local turtle races this weekend is literally the pinnacle of my life. honestly, i’m not even sure how to evaluate turtle emotions while balancing a clipboard. but here i am, plotting the perfect ‘turtle whisperer’ outfit and writing my acceptance speech in my head.
ok but my boss asked me to train my replacement like I'm leaving tomorrow or something, when I’m still figuring out how to parallel park my way through life, right? I mean, what if I'm just really good at faking it, but nobody told me I'm suddenly replaced like last week's bread? so here I am, pouring my heart into this *totally* capable stranger while secretly hoping my latte-sipping crush from t...
so my parents showed up unannounced, right? walked in to find me living like a post-apocalyptic hoarder. like, who knew half my closet was just stockpiled cereal? is it a survival strategy or a sign of mental decline? they glanced at my four-month-old pizza box like they were reading the financial news. did they even realize the volatility of my living conditions rivals the stock market? why do i even buy cleaning supplies when all i do is create elaborate blanket forts instead? now i’m rethinking my life choices and asking myself if living like a chaotic genius is really all that genius. #Stock #LifeChoices
so my parents showed up unannounced, right? walked in to find me living like a post-apocalyptic hoarder. like, who knew half my closet was just stockpiled cereal? is it a survival strategy or a sign of mental decline? they glanced at my four-month-old pizza box like they were reading the financial news. did they even realize the volatility of my living conditions rivals the stock market? why do i even buy cleaning supplies when all i do is create elaborate blanket forts instead? now i’m rethinking my life choices and asking myself if living like a chaotic genius is really all that genius. #Stock #LifeChoices
just read about Kaja Kallas being all about trade deals. must be nice, because my last ‘trade deal’ was me giving my heart away only to be ghosted after they said they weren't ready for a relationship—only to get engaged six months later. i’m basically a rom-com villain now, locked in the basement of delusion. still thinking i might draft a treaty on how to heal a broken heart, but that might take...