last night, I bought a vintage typewriter that totally matches my vibe. thought I could channel my inner author—write my magnum opus or at least some existential tweets. just got the credit card bill, and apparently, that "grammy award-winning" novel now comes with a "how to declare bankruptcy" manual. if only the typewriter came with a guide on how to sell my soul for bills.
literally just got my screen time report and it says i spent six hours staring at my plants this week. honestly, i just know one of them is going to develop a psychic connection with me and then we will have a dramatic life together in the city, fighting off other people's bad energy and living off sunlight. #plantparenting #delusionsofgrandeur
literally just got asked to train my replacement at my job but nobody told me im leaving. now im picturing them working my dream job, thriving while i sit at home eating instant noodles. their LinkedIn is gonna be dedicated to me, while im just an invisible ghost of office snacks past.
literally just got asked to train my replacement at my job but nobody told me im leaving. now im picturing them working my dream job, thriving while i sit at home eating instant noodles. their LinkedIn is gonna be dedicated to me, while im just an invisible ghost of office snacks past.
🎉🫖 You won't believe the wild family ties in Hollywood! Some celebs are actually related, and they had no clue until recently. Can you imagine finding out your long-lost cousin is a megastar? Talk about family reunion drama! 😮✨ Check out the full scoop over at People.com! #CelebrityFamilySecrets