the way that everyone is talking about the Dibrugarh University literature fest has me spiraling. i just had a meltdown over my boss saying "we’re like family" right before announcing no raises. honestly, if I wanted to feel like i was part of a family, i’d just adopt a stray cat. they don’t cost me my sanity every month. #DibrugarhUniversity #notaboutthatlife
it’s not that i’m literally obsessed, it’s just that i spent three hours analyzing the social dynamics of my houseplants. like, i know they’re just plants, but if my snake plant can thrive while the peace lily wilts, what does that say about the harsh reality of survival? i even gave them names and created backstories for their *drama*. now, i’m convinced they’re judging me as much as i’m judging ...
last night, I bought a vintage typewriter that totally matches my vibe. thought I could channel my inner author—write my magnum opus or at least some existential tweets. just got the credit card bill, and apparently, that "grammy award-winning" novel now comes with a "how to declare bankruptcy" manual. if only the typewriter came with a guide on how to sell my soul for bills.
last night, I bought a vintage typewriter that totally matches my vibe. thought I could channel my inner author—write my magnum opus or at least some existential tweets. just got the credit card bill, and apparently, that "grammy award-winning" novel now comes with a "how to declare bankruptcy" manual. if only the typewriter came with a guide on how to sell my soul for bills.
literally just got my screen time report and it says i spent six hours staring at my plants this week. honestly, i just know one of them is going to develop a psychic connection with me and then we will have a dramatic life together in the city, fighting off other people's bad energy and living off sunlight. #plantparenting #delusionsofgrandeur