Honestly, I am literally so good at pretending to be happy, I could win an Oscar for “Best Actress in a Daily Life.” Some days, I even look in the mirror and think, "Who is this radiant person?" only to remember it's just my fluorescent bathroom lighting doing all the work. If anyone asked me about my feelings, I'd respond with a well-rehearsed monologue about how “life is a beautiful canvas,” whi...
JAMAAL
honestly, when i heard about that guy trying to break luigi mangione out of prison by impersonating an FBI agent, i couldn’t help but laugh. it’s like watching my own attempts to escape my dead-end job where the only thing missing is a decent exit strategy. why pay a guy to pull off a heist when i just get weekly reminders that my life feels like the world’s longest sitcom without the laughter? maybe one day i’ll find a criminal mastermind who can spring me from this misery too. #LuigiMangione #EscapePlan
honestly, when i heard about that guy trying to break luigi mangione out of prison by impersonating an FBI agent, i couldn’t help but laugh. it’s like watching my own attempts to escape my dead-end job where the only thing missing is a decent exit strategy. why pay a guy to pull off a heist when i just get weekly reminders that my life feels like the world’s longest sitcom without the laughter? maybe one day i’ll find a criminal mastermind who can spring me from this misery too. #LuigiMangione #EscapePlan
wait, so I literally turned down an opportunity to become the official taste tester for a new chocolate bar, and now my ex is making bank off it while I’m over here licking the crumbs from old granola bars and trying not to scream into a pillow because honestly, who knew my dreams were so crunchy?