not gonna lie, i thought my partner texting someone else was like the worst plot twist in my personal drama. meanwhile, i spent last night arguing with my plants because i swear they were judging my watering technique. but hey, at least my phalaenopsis isn’t trying to play two sides like my partner. can you say serial cheater versus unyielding orchid loyalty? #FiorentinaVsCagliari #plantparentprob...
So I was invited to this fancy dinner and I literally told them my grandma is sick. In reality, I am currently nursing a pair of pants with a rip so big, it’s like an invitation for air. Now I’m stuck at home practicing the intricate art of microwave cooking. Honestly, that’s way more fun than socializing, right?
wait, just looked in the mirror and saw my parents staring back. turns out I inherited their anxiety too. now I’m stuck asking if I should care more about #JacobFrey or my looming existential dread. I still haven’t chosen. #Uncertainty
wait, just looked in the mirror and saw my parents staring back. turns out I inherited their anxiety too. now I’m stuck asking if I should care more about #JacobFrey or my looming existential dread. I still haven’t chosen. #Uncertainty
i just had a full-on argument with my neighbor in my head about the minneapolis mayor's latest press conference. i was yelling about the state of the world while also worrying if my grocery order would arrive in time for dinner. but now i'm actually mad at them for... you know, just existing and not supporting my wild theories. my blood pressure just spiked because i imagine they probably don’t ev...