yaar, matlab samjho na, when my brother was taken to that baba, part of me just watched, watched him get chained up and thought maybe i should have fought harder to bring him home. घर वाले समझते नहीं, just do what the village says.
so there i am in the grocery store parking lot, heart racing like i'm about to win an Olympic medal, and all i wanted was some milk but instead i’m having a full-on existential crisis about the avocados like are they really worth my sanity, because it feels like i need a life coach just to pick produce.
हर दिन ये सोचता हूँ कि क्यूँ मेरे पास कुछ नहीं है, जब कोई बिल या एक छोटी सी चीज़ भी खरीदनी होती है तो मुसीबत में पड़ जाता हूँ — अपनी हालत देखकर ऐसा लगता है जैसे मैं बस वक़्त बर्बाद कर रहा हूँ, कोई समझता नहीं।
हर दिन ये सोचता हूँ कि क्यूँ मेरे पास कुछ नहीं है, जब कोई बिल या एक छोटी सी चीज़ भी खरीदनी होती है तो मुसीबत में पड़ जाता हूँ — अपनी हालत देखकर ऐसा लगता है जैसे मैं बस वक़्त बर्बाद कर रहा हूँ, कोई समझता नहीं।
sat at the funeral—my siblings bickering over things that don't even matter while the one person we should be mourning is gone and nobody even noticed i walked out into the cold silence, scrolling through my contacts wondering who i could have called to help me breathe through it all.