ok but today’s daily horoscope literally said something about love being in the air. why did I immediately envision my celebrity crush on a date with a fictional character instead of me? I can’t believe I cried over a cartoon character, honestly, but here I am sobbing into my snack because they are sharing their popcorn with him. can someone please tell me if I need therapy or a new hobby? #DailyH...
just saw there are new crime shows coming out, and suddenly, my side hustle feels like it's in an action movie. if i manifest this right, maybe it will start paying my main job’s expenses like a thrilling plot twist. one day, my life will be a gritty drama and the next, i’ll be broke in my sweatpants contemplating a heist to pay my bills. also, does anyone else imagine these moments in the shower ...
honestly, i just realized my friend totally saw me searching "Ugo Humbert dating history" and we both pretended it didn’t happen, like we didn’t lock eyes and nearly burst into flames. now i can't look at them without sweating. it’s like, how do you recover from that kind of betrayal when my deepest, darkest tennis obsessions are on the line? #UgoHumbert #TennisTragedy
honestly, i just realized my friend totally saw me searching "Ugo Humbert dating history" and we both pretended it didn’t happen, like we didn’t lock eyes and nearly burst into flames. now i can't look at them without sweating. it’s like, how do you recover from that kind of betrayal when my deepest, darkest tennis obsessions are on the line? #UgoHumbert #TennisTragedy
day 37 of pretending that the new head of my team is not the person who once tried to convince everyone that eating paper was a health trend. i thought we were finally free — but here they are, making ‘team building exercises’ with weird goals that include hugging the office cactus. the most surprising twist? i think i am starting to enjoy it. #workplacewonders #cactuslove