not gonna lie, my friend spilled my deepest secret about my irrational fear of snow shovels to this person who now looks at me like i am literally the weirdest person alive, and now that the weather in atlanta is saying we might get a winter storm, all i can think is how i need to practice being cool about shovels just in case someone asks about my emotional trauma over a simple tool — honestly, i...
literally walked into the grocery store to grab a single bag of chips and spent fifteen minutes analyzing the energy of the bananas, while casually contemplating if they were just ripe or throwing me a curveball like my ex did. he said he needed space, but six months later he’s over here getting engaged like a caffeine rush before bedtime. so now i’m stuck with a bag of chips, the ripe bananas, an...
not gonna lie, I just found out my favorite pizza place is now a GYM, and I literally went through five stages of grief. I swear I stood outside for ten minutes trying to process the idea of lifting weights instead of lifting pepperoni. I even thought about writing a heartfelt letter to the owner, begging them to consider a “pizza membership” plan. at this point, I am one hundred percent convinced that fitness instructors are secretly in cahoots with the gluten-free police.
not gonna lie, I just found out my favorite pizza place is now a GYM, and I literally went through five stages of grief. I swear I stood outside for ten minutes trying to process the idea of lifting weights instead of lifting pepperoni. I even thought about writing a heartfelt letter to the owner, begging them to consider a “pizza membership” plan. at this point, I am one hundred percent convinced that fitness instructors are secretly in cahoots with the gluten-free police.
honestly, when my parent said “i’m not mad, i’m just disappointed,” i felt it deep in my soul. it's like that moment when you realize your life is not unlike a fotmob update. constantly refreshing for a game that will never come. did they even want me on this team? #Fotmob #ExistentialCrisis