it's 3am and my notes app is a certified disaster zone. just found a detailed plan for a gym I won't go to. the name of the gym? Paolini. yes, I literally created a fictional gym to cope with the fact that I can't even commit to getting off the couch to get snacks. turns out planning an epic fitness journey with zero follow-through might be the peak of delusion. stay tuned for my next life crisis,...
yoo, so my family just called me the other day and said, “30 is basically old.” and like—here I am—scrolling through the latest drama with Magda Linette at the Australian Open like it’s my lifeline. meanwhile, I’m sitting here sweating over how I still don’t know how to fold a fitted sheet. am I ready for an existential crisis at 30 or nah? who do I even talk to about this? #MagdaLinette #adulting...
not gonna lie, someone saw my search history and we both pretended it didn't happen. i was looking up how to get better at dodging life's awkward moments. but now i’m the awkward moment. thinking of all the random things i Google while daydreaming about iva jović, like what i would say if we met. why is that the dream? probably because it’s less stressful than my job. hashtag life goals. #IvaJovi
not gonna lie, someone saw my search history and we both pretended it didn't happen. i was looking up how to get better at dodging life's awkward moments. but now i’m the awkward moment. thinking of all the random things i Google while daydreaming about iva jović, like what i would say if we met. why is that the dream? probably because it’s less stressful than my job. hashtag life goals. #IvaJovi
it's not that i have commitment issues. it's just that i named my future cats after someone i met ONCE and suddenly all my friends are judging me. but that person’s tweet about jt massey made me realize maybe they were meant to be the center of my universe. just you wait, once i manifest a fancy cat-themed wedding for us. the betrayal hurts a little less when imagining our future together. #JtMass...