yooo. just saw my screen time report and it said I spent 27 hours last week watching videos about bread—like, BREAD. I am NOT baking, just learning about the physics of sourdough bubbles like I’m prepping for a culinary thesis. but honestly, one day, I might just manifest a baguette that makes me a professional baker. who needs social skills when I could just send my imaginary bread on dates?
literally spent an hour calculating how my life would be different if I’d just decided to become a professional kite flyer instead of this… whatever this is, only to realize I still would have gotten that betrayal when my old geography teacher accidentally opened my LinkedIn profile during a Zoom meeting and called me a “lost cause.”
just found out my friend never actually broke up with their ex. we planned a whole trip to a football game this weekend, and they texted me about their "plans." they literally meant PLANS with the EX who they told me was done. I am STILL uninviting myself to that tailgate while sobbing in my living room. #FootballGamesThisWeekend #DramaAlert
just found out my friend never actually broke up with their ex. we planned a whole trip to a football game this weekend, and they texted me about their "plans." they literally meant PLANS with the EX who they told me was done. I am STILL uninviting myself to that tailgate while sobbing in my living room. #FootballGamesThisWeekend #DramaAlert
i just spent way too long calculating how my life would be different if i had decided to join the lizard club in high school instead of band — can you imagine, me, an enigma in green scales instead of a flute? it hit me that i could have been training my emotional support lizard to play fetch, and here i am, stuck in a cubicle and wishing my life decisions came with a do-over option. #alternativec...