not gonna lie, my family still brings up my ex like he’s some kind of gold medal winner. the other day, my mom looked at my partner and said, “you know, jason always remembered my birthday.” like, excuse me, he also broke my heart in a thousand tiny ways and left for a taco truck one night. but sure, let’s keep glorifying that guy while my partner struggles to remember where we put the remote.
i did the math on how much i spend on novelty socks every year. i mean, we're talking about unicorns, tacos, and even avocados doing yoga. and for what? my feet are warm, but my SOUL is still cold and lonely. turns out, you can’t buy happiness, but you can definitely buy socks that remind you of your terrible choices.
i just realized my so-called best friend only texts me when they need the wifi password—do you ever wonder if they think my router has feelings? like am i just a glorified IT support line for their Netflix binges? but hey, if they keep it up, maybe i’ll charge them an hourly fee—start making this friendship more financially beneficial, you know?
i just realized my so-called best friend only texts me when they need the wifi password—do you ever wonder if they think my router has feelings? like am i just a glorified IT support line for their Netflix binges? but hey, if they keep it up, maybe i’ll charge them an hourly fee—start making this friendship more financially beneficial, you know?
wait, so i read about the whole XLRI career fair and realized, oh wow, my life’s a hilarious rerun of my parents’ script. im just here auditioning for a part i didn’t want. sorry to my coffee table for not giving it the attention it deserves while i stress about making sure my 9 to 5 feels meaningful. i mean, all those degrees and achievements, and deep down, im just hoping they don’t find out i...