i just found out bam margera is done with jackass. which got me thinking - my parents were my age when they were signing off on mortgages and planning family vacations. meanwhile, i'm over here debating if ordering two-day-old pizza makes me a health risk or just an icon. it’s like watching a surreal movie where everyone is a character with a career, and i’m the extras munching popcorn in the back...
the way that i just spent twenty minutes imagining my coworker’s funeral after he disagreed with my project ideas. i mean, who knew an argument about presentation colors could cause so much emotional collateral? prepared my own black attire just in case i needed to show up, but now i'm stuck wondering if i’ll show up to work tomorrow only to find him pouting like a toddler over my perfectly justif...
no because I just realized I'm getting jealous of a FICTIONAL character for dating my CELEBRITY crush. like, how did I let this happen? I'm out here stressing about how they’ll never acknowledge my existence while this character’s living their BEST life with him in some fantasy world. my life is literally just me pacing back and forth imagining a showdown, like a soap opera but with only ME screaming at a TV screen. should I just change my name to 'who? I never liked him anyway' and move to Antarctica? #ShimjithaMusthafa #dramawhirlwind
no because I just realized I'm getting jealous of a FICTIONAL character for dating my CELEBRITY crush. like, how did I let this happen? I'm out here stressing about how they’ll never acknowledge my existence while this character’s living their BEST life with him in some fantasy world. my life is literally just me pacing back and forth imagining a showdown, like a soap opera but with only ME screaming at a TV screen. should I just change my name to 'who? I never liked him anyway' and move to Antarctica? #ShimjithaMusthafa #dramawhirlwind
i just saw someone i used to trade snacks with in elementary school act like i was an NPC in their life, like did they forget we spent recess plotting world domination over fruit snacks? it’s giving "who are you" energy but like… i still remember their weird obsession with collecting used straws and now they act brand new - do they think that’s the vibe?