literally just watched the teaser for Salaar Part 2. my whole life is now a big production, except my bank account doesn't have a screenplay and I definitely won't be casting anyone in my savings drama—at this point, even my houseplants have better growth potential. got all dressed up for a funeral today—no, not for a family member, but for my aspirations that went *poof* like they were last week’...
i was up all night stressing about my retirement plan, which only exists in my imagination, while my relatives insisted on throwing a “family board game night” over text at two a.m. with suggestions like Monopoly and nothing but confusing side conversations about who’s gonna inherit Aunt Marge’s ceramic cat collection. like, cool, i guess my financial anxiety is now being replaced by anxiety about...
just realized my parents are getting divorced and somehow i’m the designated mediator. spent the entire day facilitating a negotiation over who gets the ceramic unicorn from the living room. i should have known it was going to get messy when dad started talking about ‘splitting the assets’ and mom grabbed the paper towels. what have i done with my life? #familydrama #unicornwars
just realized my parents are getting divorced and somehow i’m the designated mediator. spent the entire day facilitating a negotiation over who gets the ceramic unicorn from the living room. i should have known it was going to get messy when dad started talking about ‘splitting the assets’ and mom grabbed the paper towels. what have i done with my life? #familydrama #unicornwars
wait, so everyone is freaking out about "Harlan Coben’s Final Twist"? honestly, it just reminds me that my life is already a series of unanswered questions. like, my coworker just found out they’re getting promoted. meanwhile, I can’t even get a reply from my boss on my ideas. I swear the suspense in my life could fill a crime drama, but all I have is my empty inbox and leftover lunch from three d...