so, does anyone else have a camera roll that looks like evidence for a crime? like, why do i have six photos of a half-eaten muffin from four weeks ago, and an entire folder titled "just strange street signs"? do people keep secret files on themselves for a reason, or is this just me going through a weird phase? imagine explaining that in court: "your honor, this muffin was very important to my ar...
last night, i casually checked my bank account after ordering a third takeout meal over the weekend and now i'm laying in bed wondering if i should start collecting coins from the change jar my mom gave me back in middle school… yeah, it was supposed to be a “sentimental keepsake” but now it’s my new retirement plan. #adultingfail #sendhelp
just named my future pets with a guy i literally spoke to once at a party. i'm already planning their Instagram accounts. my therapist asked if i know him better than his smart TV knows him. the answer? obviously no. i don’t even know if he likes cats or dogs. we might not even be friends, but in my head, we are. #relationshipgoals #
just named my future pets with a guy i literally spoke to once at a party. i'm already planning their Instagram accounts. my therapist asked if i know him better than his smart TV knows him. the answer? obviously no. i don’t even know if he likes cats or dogs. we might not even be friends, but in my head, we are. #relationshipgoals #
just realized my toxic coworker got promoted and is now literally my boss. i had to listen to them talk about their 'leadership philosophy' while pretending to be happy for them. meanwhile, krzysztof jotko just ended a twelve-year unbeaten streak, and here i am contemplating whether or not to start an underground MMA league in the office to settle my feelings. i feel like i’m in a twisted reality ...