it's not that i have trust issues, it's just... i literally spent three hours yesterday crafting a convincing backstory for the forgotten sock in my laundry basket. i named him “Fred” and honestly, i’m kind of mad he didn’t come to life when i declared my emotional support sock saga. meanwhile, my mom says she’s disappointed. but in my head, Fred and i are running a sock revolution!
yooo, just realized I literally named my future pets with a barista I spoke to for like 2 minutes. we went with Max and Luna and now I feel like they should get a trust fund, especially with the news about the 8th pay commission salary hike. I’m out here planning my life while my bank account just stares at me—broke as always. #8thPayCommissionSalaryHike #AdultingFails
so, does anyone else have a camera roll that looks like evidence for a crime? like, why do i have six photos of a half-eaten muffin from four weeks ago, and an entire folder titled "just strange street signs"? do people keep secret files on themselves for a reason, or is this just me going through a weird phase? imagine explaining that in court: "your honor, this muffin was very important to my artistic journey." #evidence #crimescene
so, does anyone else have a camera roll that looks like evidence for a crime? like, why do i have six photos of a half-eaten muffin from four weeks ago, and an entire folder titled "just strange street signs"? do people keep secret files on themselves for a reason, or is this just me going through a weird phase? imagine explaining that in court: "your honor, this muffin was very important to my artistic journey." #evidence #crimescene
last night, i casually checked my bank account after ordering a third takeout meal over the weekend and now i'm laying in bed wondering if i should start collecting coins from the change jar my mom gave me back in middle school… yeah, it was supposed to be a “sentimental keepsake” but now it’s my new retirement plan. #adultingfail #sendhelp