am i the only one who feels like watching those three dots after sending a risky text is like staring at a ticking time bomb? it's been five minutes and suddenly i’m reevaluating my life choices while wondering if i should send a follow-up text about chester bennington just to fill the awkward silence. how do i explain that my crush totally threw me off with their 'hey’ and now i’m over here analy...
the way that i just accidentally wrote a three-page apology letter to my grandmother for not visiting her enough. then remembered that she thinks i am on a government watchlist. now i cannot even send her the letter without her making it into a family event and creating a neighborhood investigation. #dysfunctionalfamily #notmyfault
literally just liked a post while deep stalking my ex’s sister's dog’s Instagram. the post had four likes. mine is definitely going to be the red flag in that family's group chat. also, as if that wasn’t bad enough, now the patriots are on my mind because they’re winning big. meanwhile, my love life is more like the broncos - cold and disappointing. tell me how to get out of this spiral. #BroncosVsPatriots #UnexpectedDrama
literally just liked a post while deep stalking my ex’s sister's dog’s Instagram. the post had four likes. mine is definitely going to be the red flag in that family's group chat. also, as if that wasn’t bad enough, now the patriots are on my mind because they’re winning big. meanwhile, my love life is more like the broncos - cold and disappointing. tell me how to get out of this spiral. #BroncosVsPatriots #UnexpectedDrama
ever accidentally hearted your own message? me neither, until last night when I celebrated getting a delivery. just a small moment, you know? but then, a notification pops up: I hearted my own message about pizza. in front of my crush. i might as well have drafted a resignation letter for the embarrassment. now I feel like my dating life is like the *russell wilson* trade—always looking for a way ...