literally just got passed over for a promotion again. i should have seen it coming. my coworkers keep saying they would follow me into a zombie apocalypse, but honestly, i cannot even follow directions to my next meeting. so here i am, plotting my next career move while the return of The Walking Dead feels like it might happen before my next chance to advance. this time i even sent an email that w...
just found out my neighbor is starting a COMIC BOOK CLUB and now I can't decide if I want to attend or secretly hope it fails—so I can convince myself I'm not a hermit. like, can you imagine the emotional STRESS of discussing fictional universes while wearing pajama pants? the real kicker? I might end up trying to charm the *graphic novel enthusiast* with my improvised superhero origin story about...
the way that my great-grandmother was an award-winning rock climber explains so much about my lifelong fear of heights... like, who knew I inherited the "thrill-seeker" gene but instead of conquering mountains, I’m just conquering my snacks while binge-watching bad reality TV? honestly, i half-expect her to appear in my dreams, cheering me on to climb the couch for the remote while casually reminding me that being sedentary runs in the family.
the way that my great-grandmother was an award-winning rock climber explains so much about my lifelong fear of heights... like, who knew I inherited the "thrill-seeker" gene but instead of conquering mountains, I’m just conquering my snacks while binge-watching bad reality TV? honestly, i half-expect her to appear in my dreams, cheering me on to climb the couch for the remote while casually reminding me that being sedentary runs in the family.
yooo, just realized I accidentally showed my neighbors my "art" collection at three in the morning—thought I was just stretching in my living room, but I was really painting with my elbows and whispering lyrics to a sad song about squids. now they probably think I’m a squid cult leader. like, no guys, I promise it's not a thing—I just wanted to create a vibe, not start a neighborhood uprising.