it's not that i care about usha vance being pregnant with her fourth child. it's just that i was in the middle of scrolling through work emails and accidentally discovered my partner texting someone else. i thought, if a politician can handle four kids, why can’t my partner handle four truths? so now i'm contemplating launching my own email campaign titled "this relationship needs a few more pregn...
not gonna lie, just spent three hours mediating my parents' divorce over who gets the stuffed cat collection they named 'Sassy' while in the back of my mind, all I could think about was that true crime show featuring Nancy Woodrum and how I would surely end up on an episode as the bewildered child stuck in a murder plot. i'm looking at my life like a low-budget soap opera and wondering when the co...
do you ever just see someone you thought needed space post a picture with someone else, like, with matching pajamas, and you’re like—are they using my ex's face as the world’s worst pumpkin spice candle? I mean, I literally spent hours reorganizing my entire sock drawer, hoping to connect with the universe and clearly, it wasn’t working—why is that so ironic? I even sent a formal letter to the stars about my feelings and now they're just sipping hot cocoa while I’m over here re-enacting scenes from bad reality shows like it’s therapy.
do you ever just see someone you thought needed space post a picture with someone else, like, with matching pajamas, and you’re like—are they using my ex's face as the world’s worst pumpkin spice candle? I mean, I literally spent hours reorganizing my entire sock drawer, hoping to connect with the universe and clearly, it wasn’t working—why is that so ironic? I even sent a formal letter to the stars about my feelings and now they're just sipping hot cocoa while I’m over here re-enacting scenes from bad reality shows like it’s therapy.
ok but imagine running into someone you shared crayons with in kindergarten and they look right through you like you’re a ghost. like, i remember when we built that massive cardboard spaceship together, and now they can't even give a nod. it’s a LEVEL of forgetting that makes me wonder if they’re even real. #identitycrisis #lostconnections