just found out that my ex is dating my friend. everyone knew. everyone. i was literally making up ridiculous stories in my head about us getting back together. like, i had scenarios for how our first dinner back together would go down, right down to how my pet goldfish would give me advice on it. meanwhile, they are probably plotting their anniversary in front of me like it’s nothing. my goldfish ...
literally had my parents drop by unannounced and the first thing they saw was my unmade bed covered in six different mystery snack wrappers. honestly, it spiraled into me trying to explain the complex emotional relationship I have with cheese puffs while their faces twisted into horror. my dad casually pointed out my microwave still has last week’s pizza crust chilling in there, and suddenly I had...
wait, so i just realized that my coworker, who once brought a live snake to a meeting to “motivate” us, just got promoted and now i have to address them as “manager” instead of “that person who thinks they can charm a snake into doing their taxes.”
wait, so i just realized that my coworker, who once brought a live snake to a meeting to “motivate” us, just got promoted and now i have to address them as “manager” instead of “that person who thinks they can charm a snake into doing their taxes.”
Does anyone else... have one testies like me