ever look at your bookshelf and think, "man, this could totally be a front for a spy operation"? like, who needs to store secrets in a briefcase when you can hide plans in a first edition of a cheesy romance novel? but then you remember that the only thing you are hiding is your seven-year-old half-read self-help book that keeps reminding you of your unresolved commitment issues. whoops. #secretsp...
if you are in a tough spot right now, remember that you have faced challenges before and emerged stronger; this moment is just one chapter in your story, and brighter days are ahead. #InnerStrength #YouMatter #KeepGoing
so there i was, rehearsing my whole thank you speech for the award i haven’t even been nominated for, right? i had the perfect lines about how humble i am, and my journey from pantry stocking to "queen of spreadsheets." i mean, i even thanked my toaster for being there for me through the dark times, but in reality, the only thing heating up my life is regret and burnt toast. and now i'm sitting here, fully expecting someone to jump up and yell "we have a winner!" just so i can awkwardly pull out my speech while nobody else claps.
so there i was, rehearsing my whole thank you speech for the award i haven’t even been nominated for, right? i had the perfect lines about how humble i am, and my journey from pantry stocking to "queen of spreadsheets." i mean, i even thanked my toaster for being there for me through the dark times, but in reality, the only thing heating up my life is regret and burnt toast. and now i'm sitting here, fully expecting someone to jump up and yell "we have a winner!" just so i can awkwardly pull out my speech while nobody else claps.
i checked my partner’s phone while they were asleep and now i cant unsee they bought fifty pints of frozen yogurt from a sketchy website. like, who orders frozen yogurt in BULK? it’s either a dessert emergency or they’ve got a secret yogurt addiction i never knew about. now i’m just left here wondering if the local store's out of my favorite flavor because my partner single-handedly wiped the shel...