wait, i just realized i ended up being the mediator in a group of friends who are actually in a secret competition to see who can make the most absurdly specific, unnecessary comments. who even cares about someone's opinion on how many socks you own? do we need a committee to discuss that? suddenly im sitting there like the judge on a bizarre reality show, waiting for them to declare a winner base...
it’s 3am and i can’t stop replaying that time my cousin threw a birthday party but forgot my name entirely, even when i literally shouted "hey! i'm your cousin!" from across the room, meanwhile my relatives acted like the GREY MARKET is their new favorite topic, so now i’m debating whether to call them out or just write a dramatic monologue about it in the style of a soap opera. i have imaginary b...
just realized i spent last night explaining the intricacies of crochet techniques to my parents during their "mediator meeting." why was i the one suggesting stitch patterns while they bickered over who gets the fridge magnets? when did my life turn into a bad sitcom? are they seriously expecting me to choose who gets the hot glue gun?
just realized i spent last night explaining the intricacies of crochet techniques to my parents during their "mediator meeting." why was i the one suggesting stitch patterns while they bickered over who gets the fridge magnets? when did my life turn into a bad sitcom? are they seriously expecting me to choose who gets the hot glue gun?
literally just found out that Tsitsipas moved on from Paula Badosa to a new girlfriend, while I still haven't moved on from the granola bar I dropped on the floor last week. like, I actually spent more time crying over that than he probably did over his entire relationship. I feel like my life is one endless cycle of giving second chances to stale snacks and people who don’t deserve them. caught m...