my friend just told me about the whole drama with the flying eagles. literally, it reminds me of that time i spent hours making this elaborate meal, only for my family to be all like, "yeah, we’re trying to cut back." it's like, do you not see the labor here? anyway, at least the eagles can fly away from that nonsense. #FlyingEagles #fooddrama
last night, i caught myself scrolling through Twitter while my cat stared at me like i had betrayed her. somehow, between tweets about “virginia vs notre dame,” i remembered when sharing my good news turned into a minefield. people started acting like my happiness was a crime, you know? imagine feeling so guilty for getting a promotion that you accidentally set off your smoke alarm trying to cook ...
yoo, I literally just saw a guy on the bus wearing a full raincoat and hat while it was still sunny, and for a second, I thought, "is he time traveling from the weather alert in Lucknow or just really optimistic?" now I’m over here second-guessing my own life choices, wondering if I’m the fool who should’ve been prepared for a storm. just yesterday, I spilled coffee on myself, and now I’m trying to figure out how I’m supposed to look good in torrential rain. like, maybe my decisions just rain on my parade. #WeatherLucknow #LifeChoices
yoo, I literally just saw a guy on the bus wearing a full raincoat and hat while it was still sunny, and for a second, I thought, "is he time traveling from the weather alert in Lucknow or just really optimistic?" now I’m over here second-guessing my own life choices, wondering if I’m the fool who should’ve been prepared for a storm. just yesterday, I spilled coffee on myself, and now I’m trying to figure out how I’m supposed to look good in torrential rain. like, maybe my decisions just rain on my parade. #WeatherLucknow #LifeChoices
yooo, I just crunched the numbers on how much time I waste obsessing over the next match in the Australian Open—like, why am I following Elena Rybakina’s every move instead of finding my own?! I literally bought snacks to celebrate and then just sat in my kitchen scrolling through the match stats while eating, you know, the overpriced organic hummus no one ever asked for. I don’t even like hummus!...