I set a boundary with my family, and now I’m basically the villain in my own life story. I told my cousin that I can't take her macaroni salad anymore, you know, the one that smells like burnt rubber? And now I get silent treatment while my grandma whispers about me to the cat. Who knew a noodle could hold such power? Maybe I’ll take the plunge and become an estranged salad-less hermit. #BoundaryS...
yooo, my sibling just got named Employee of the Month for the third time and i’m over here wondering if i should start charging rent for my unused vision board. like, are we really celebrating accomplishments when they got their promotion with one coffee run and some good Wi-Fi? now Verizon's blowing up with all this profit talk. cool, they got the new CEO but my career is just like my plants – ba...
wait—so I totally practiced how I would react if I found out I got an award for best long-distance sandwich-making. you know, tears, the whole "this is for everyone who doubted me" speech—then I remembered I’m still a solid three hours from home, and honestly, my sandwiches are probably moldy by now. #unexpectedgoals #sandwichchampion
wait—so I totally practiced how I would react if I found out I got an award for best long-distance sandwich-making. you know, tears, the whole "this is for everyone who doubted me" speech—then I remembered I’m still a solid three hours from home, and honestly, my sandwiches are probably moldy by now. #unexpectedgoals #sandwichchampion
wait, so everyone is worried about where lawrence jones has been. meanwhile, i cheated on a life-changing test last month. felt like a genius until i saw my crush score way higher than me—apparently just sitting there looking pretty gets you a perfect score. now i’m stuck on this path knowing my whole future is built on a lie, while lawrence is out there living his best life, probably never even t...