my manager scheduled a 'quick chat' for Friday at four, and you know it's not just about my performance review, because why else would they choose the time when the office coffee pot is empty? it feels like inviting me to a pool party with no water—it's just an elaborate setup for me to flounder in confusion.
not gonna lie, i just moved cities for a person who left three months later, and now i’m sitting at home watching the OPM operating status notifications like it’s a soap opera about my life choices. if only the snow could cover my shame too. so now, while schools and offices are closed, i'm debating whether to order in a pity dinner or just scroll through our old texts. my life is like one long dr...
it's not that I'm in the middle of my parents' divorce mediation, it's just that I accidentally became the FAMILY THERAPIST because I keep reminding them that neither of them can handle spicy food. imagine me, wearing my dad's oversized shirt, fanning myself while they argue about the custody of the blender. I’ve given up on my own sanity; my ultimate goal is to mediate until I can take both their burritos to my secret fridge where I hide my snacks, because no one will ever want to leave the house with ME around.
it's not that I'm in the middle of my parents' divorce mediation, it's just that I accidentally became the FAMILY THERAPIST because I keep reminding them that neither of them can handle spicy food. imagine me, wearing my dad's oversized shirt, fanning myself while they argue about the custody of the blender. I’ve given up on my own sanity; my ultimate goal is to mediate until I can take both their burritos to my secret fridge where I hide my snacks, because no one will ever want to leave the house with ME around.
i just scheduled a reminder for the exact minute my paycheck hits because my plants need encouragement—there’s no way my 37 succulents will believe i’m responsible enough to pay rent if i’m broke right now. #plantparentproblems #financialdilemmas