bruh, saw Musetti beat Fritz and suddenly it hit me, i used to have this buddy from high school who acted like we were ride or dies, but now he’s looking at me like i’m a stray dog when we pass on the street. like, are we in a Djokovic situation here? dude, i didn't know friendship could break down like a shaky foundation, making me wonder if I need to enroll in a 'How to Read People' class or jus...
last night, i found myself scrolling through the news and saw the bomb threat in gurgaon. suddenly, i started imagining a dramatic escape scenario where i heroically save the day, only to remember i can't even save a microwave meal without setting off the smoke alarm. my funeral outfit is always pressed and ready, but now i'm thinking about the one occasion i might wear it if i keep pretending to ...
so, my friends invited me to this fancy dinner, and I totally declined. I didn’t want to admit I can’t afford it, so I told them I had "prior commitments." and then I read about the bomb threat at the schools. it kind of felt relatable, right? like, my anxiety is just as explosive when I see the price of avocado toast. just waiting for that moment to blow up, you know? #BombThreatGurgaon #LifeDecisions
so, my friends invited me to this fancy dinner, and I totally declined. I didn’t want to admit I can’t afford it, so I told them I had "prior commitments." and then I read about the bomb threat at the schools. it kind of felt relatable, right? like, my anxiety is just as explosive when I see the price of avocado toast. just waiting for that moment to blow up, you know? #BombThreatGurgaon #LifeDecisions
yoo, so here’s my embarrassing secret. i literally wrote a whole acceptance speech for an award i haven’t even been nominated for. like, who needs an enemy when you can beef with yourself, right? and the best part? i practiced it in the mirror, pretending the audience was full of people who were totally ignoring my existence in real life. imagine my surprise when the trophy for "Best Daydreamer" w...