you ever heart your own message by mistake and think, well, that's it for my social life? just found out that franco mastantuono is trending. meanwhile, i'm here triple texting my mom about the world ending over a slightly undercooked lasagna. then my little brother walks in and goes, "didn’t know you were that desperate." now i can't even face my family or the Champions League without awkwardness...
it’s not that i’m overly sensitive, it’s just that i spent THREE HOURS crafting a detailed analysis of my sock drawer’s organizational strategy. you know, the art of COLOR CODING, fabric types, and even fabric softeners. i send this deep DIVE and they respond with a single SOCK emoji. just one. now i'm imagining they are judging my life choices through a sock-shaped lens. what do you even do with ...
it's 3am and i just checked my partner's phone while they were sleeping. found out they're way too invested in ucl fixtures, like, who knew they had a whole fandom on the side. now i'm laying here wondering if i should confront them about how they prioritize these imaginary teams over our plans, or if i should just create my own league of very real problems. choices. #UclFixtures #RealLifeDrama
it's 3am and i just checked my partner's phone while they were sleeping. found out they're way too invested in ucl fixtures, like, who knew they had a whole fandom on the side. now i'm laying here wondering if i should confront them about how they prioritize these imaginary teams over our plans, or if i should just create my own league of very real problems. choices. #UclFixtures #RealLifeDrama
ok but I just caught feelings for the guy at the cemetery who said he doesn't do relationships. he was busy burying a squirrel while casually explaining that “forever” freaks him out. now I’m convinced we could build a whole romantic ghost hunting career together. who knew the afterlife could be so… complicated?