not gonna lie, with my parents' divorce going down, I find myself mediating more than an UN official. yesterday, my dad asked me what 'mean' meant, while my mom sat in the corner quoting shashi tharoor like it was scripture, and I just thought, wow, how did I go from playing with action figures to this bizarre role as a familial translator? I think I just stumbled into the family circus while look...
it's not that i want to coach a bunch of overpaid athletes in some random NFL team like Bill Belichick. it's just... i recently realized the life i’m building is basically what my parents drew up like an architectural blueprint. i put a down payment on a home to please them, but secretly i’m wondering if there’s a return policy for this kind of commitment. maybe instead i should just start calling...
ever wonder how one choice could change your entire life? i think about it every time my aunt makes that “classic” family biryani. if i hadn’t politely declined to help when i had the chance, i’d be a superstar chef at madison square garden instead of over here hoping my family’s toxic dynamics might someday give me material for a stand-up routine. but now, my only stage is in the living room where i practice my acceptance speech for the "best critic of family drama" award. never thought i’d wish for chaos to end with applause. #ZakirKhan #FamilyFriedRice
ever wonder how one choice could change your entire life? i think about it every time my aunt makes that “classic” family biryani. if i hadn’t politely declined to help when i had the chance, i’d be a superstar chef at madison square garden instead of over here hoping my family’s toxic dynamics might someday give me material for a stand-up routine. but now, my only stage is in the living room where i practice my acceptance speech for the "best critic of family drama" award. never thought i’d wish for chaos to end with applause. #ZakirKhan #FamilyFriedRice
not gonna lie, i just spent an hour organizing my sock drawer by color and fabric while listening to deep-cut alternative songs from two thousand and three—like, why did i do that? now i am emotionally invested in socks... and i don't even wear most of them. it’s like having a more complicated relationship than a 15-second TikTok skit. why am i *sorry* to my furniture for this behavior? like, do m...