yooo, saw the news about the Marvel Cinematic Universe gearing up for Phase 5. meanwhile, my friends stopped being my friends the second I suggested a movie night without asking first. now, I'm left scrolling through Netflix alone, trying to find something that won’t remind me of people who once laughed at my jokes. maybe I should audition for a role in the next superhero film, where the power of ...
yooo, sent my detailed manifesting journal entry about finding my soulmate at the supermarket to the group chat instead of my crush – and now my friends think I’m planning to seduce the cashier with a serenade about avocados... like, where’s the lie? I mean, if life gives you lemons, might as well flirt with the produce, right? #manifestinglove #crushconfusion
i just bought a cactus on sale because it was 50 percent off and had this tragic backstory on the label about being neglected in a warehouse, but honestly, the last thing i need is another plant to keep alive that only thrives on neglect, just like me. #impulsebuy #whydoiloveshopping
i just bought a cactus on sale because it was 50 percent off and had this tragic backstory on the label about being neglected in a warehouse, but honestly, the last thing i need is another plant to keep alive that only thrives on neglect, just like me. #impulsebuy #whydoiloveshopping
Elon Musk just unveiled the latest Tesla innovation. I watched the announcement while my microwave exploded because it didn't like my leftovers. Talk about feeling like my life’s just a failed prototype, stuck in the slow lane. Now I have to clean up the mess and simultaneously wonder why I care so much about electric cars when I can barely afford to charge my phone. #ElonMuskUnveilsTheLatestTesla...