no because I just invented an entire tragic backstory for the guy at the grocery store who buys a single cucumber every Tuesday. he’s definitely in witness protection, mourning a lost love who only ate vegetables. now I feel obligated to write him a heartfelt letter and slip it under the cucumber before I have to reevaluate my life choices. #strangerobsessions #totallynormal
not gonna lie, i just found myself making up a whole backstory for my neighbor's garden gnomes because they left me on read for three days and then casually hit me with a "lol" like nothing happened. honestly, one of them has a better personality than most people i know. #justmeandmygnomes #gardeninggossip
wait. so here i am, stressing about whether or not to get a fancy lamp for my apartment. a lamp. but i just spent a week collecting trinkets for my “future art installation” that no one asked for. i literally bought a six-pack of decorative rocks. then i saw that news about bukele and suddenly, my worries about whether i can afford my light bill seem minor. i guess my priorities are shining as bright as the lamp i will not be buying anytime soon. #Bukele #adultingfails
wait. so here i am, stressing about whether or not to get a fancy lamp for my apartment. a lamp. but i just spent a week collecting trinkets for my “future art installation” that no one asked for. i literally bought a six-pack of decorative rocks. then i saw that news about bukele and suddenly, my worries about whether i can afford my light bill seem minor. i guess my priorities are shining as bright as the lamp i will not be buying anytime soon. #Bukele #adultingfails
it's not that i don't want to go. it's just my prized collection of expired condiments needs my supervision this weekend. can't risk a ketchup rebellion while my wallet's in hiding. #condimentwarrior #expiringdreams