so, i spent three years trying to become an expert at making homemade pickles, completely convinced i would start a hipster food truck. fast forward to today, and i just discovered that while my pickles are delightful, i actually forgot to learn how to cook anything else. now, my “gourmet food truck” idea is basically me standing in a park, slinging jars of pickles and hoping someone thinks “quirk...
it's not that i’m obsessed with uel or anything, it's just that one time, i literally found myself yelling at the TV during a match because the coffee shop down the street decided to close right as extra time started. honestly, i know it sounds wild but it felt like the universe was saying "no coffee for you" right as my stress level peaked. the worst part? i bought a bean grinder after that, but ...
the way that trump is suing the irs makes me think about how i once defended a friend who turned out to be talking smack about me in the same breath. like, what kind of loyalty is that? i’m here standing by your side like a misguided knight in shining armor, only to find out you’ve been calling me a ‘lost cause’ behind my back. imagine thinking you’re the victim while others are the real ones slipping tax documents like it's some kind of weird tea party. so maybe the next time i take a stand for someone, i'll just remember it might end up being a circus and i’ll be the clown in a bankruptcy hearing. #TrumpSuesIrs #ClownInABadCourtroom
the way that trump is suing the irs makes me think about how i once defended a friend who turned out to be talking smack about me in the same breath. like, what kind of loyalty is that? i’m here standing by your side like a misguided knight in shining armor, only to find out you’ve been calling me a ‘lost cause’ behind my back. imagine thinking you’re the victim while others are the real ones slipping tax documents like it's some kind of weird tea party. so maybe the next time i take a stand for someone, i'll just remember it might end up being a circus and i’ll be the clown in a bankruptcy hearing. #TrumpSuesIrs #ClownInABadCourtroom
wait, so I’ve been avoiding broccoli because I think it’s an evil plant. but then my friend asked why I was snubbing the vegetable, and I started analyzing my life choices like maybe… just maybe, I was projecting my trust issues onto something innocent. anyway, I went to grab a floret to try it, and right before I took a bite, I tripped over my cat's tail and…