my boss stood up and said, 'we're like family here,' right before announcing there would be no raises this year. that’s like showing up to a family reunion only to find the main dish is nothing but old pizza and bad decisions. now I’m wondering if the only thing we’re related by is mutual suffering and disappointment. #8thPayCommission #relatable
ok but… I keep showing up at that bakery on the corner every Friday, even though I’m fully aware their gluten-free donuts taste like cardboard sprinkled with regret. the barista gives me that pitying look when I order, like she can see my life choices are a poor investment. but, I mean, at least cardboard won’t judge me, right?
yooo, I just saw this news about that professor inventing a mouse control machine, and honestly? bruh, if only I had one for my best friend who only messages when they need a ride or some emotional labor. like, I thought we had a bond, but it turns out they only come around when I’m, like, a one-man therapist hotline! imagine if I had a gadget that made them feel 20 feet away from me every time I got that “hey” text. I'd finally be at peace. #Brabu #FriendshipFails
yooo, I just saw this news about that professor inventing a mouse control machine, and honestly? bruh, if only I had one for my best friend who only messages when they need a ride or some emotional labor. like, I thought we had a bond, but it turns out they only come around when I’m, like, a one-man therapist hotline! imagine if I had a gadget that made them feel 20 feet away from me every time I got that “hey” text. I'd finally be at peace. #Brabu #FriendshipFails
i forgave someone publicly, sure—got a round of applause for being the bigger person, but inside i'm still waiting for my trust to sprout like a rare drop in a dungeon that probably won’t ever show up—suddenly this “state of azeroth” showcase feels like my relationship status, overhyped and probably going nowhere—what’s next? new content but same old drama? like, is that even fair? #StateOfAzeroth...