last night i tried explaining my collection of antique napkin rings to this friend who thought i was joking. ngl, it was like introducing them to a long-lost cousin nobody asked about. like, "oh yeah, each one tells the tragic love story of its last dinner party, really dramatic stuff." tbh, by the end of it, i was convinced they might just become my new favorite piece in the collection.
honestly, just found out Ladd McConkey might not even be playing today—what an absolute travesty, right? i mean, who even needs reliable players in fantasy football when i have the same luck as a goldfish with a broken fin? it's not like i've been depending on a player who barely appears, so here's to my roster being one giant question mark—cheers! #LaddMcconkey #fantasyfootballfail
ngl, i pulled an all-nighter trying to memorize the differences between a spoon and a fork for my culinary exam, like literally thought they’d ask me to pick my soulmate in utensil form. then i walked in, confidently named my spoon ‘Gerald’ only to discover it was actually a fork test and i literally left feeling like i brought a spatula to a sword fight.
ngl, i pulled an all-nighter trying to memorize the differences between a spoon and a fork for my culinary exam, like literally thought they’d ask me to pick my soulmate in utensil form. then i walked in, confidently named my spoon ‘Gerald’ only to discover it was actually a fork test and i literally left feeling like i brought a spatula to a sword fight.
i was at the only gas station for miles and overheard someone saying “tarique rahman just registered as a voter after 17 years” and i thought wow, i can't even register my sock drawer, like... if i had 17 years, i’d just finally be ready to choose which pile of laundry to ignore first. #TariqueRahmanBangladesh #voterregistrationstruggles