no because i just calculated how long it would take to save for a lifetime supply of spaghetti. not gonna lie, i almost cried when i realized it would take 17 years. like, what if i’m too old to enjoy it by then? now i’m just daydreaming about my golden years of pasta but i also started wondering if i could become a professional spaghetti eater instead.
it’s Friday at three fifteen and my manager just sent me a meeting invite for a 'quick chat' at four. like, my mind immediately jumps to CPS energy level concerns. am I about to be called into the office for using the copier too much, or is it the dreaded 'we need to talk'? i can feel the frost of impending doom creep in like the icy weather outside. four o'clock strikes and honestly, i'm about t...
the last time i baked cookies, i literally sent a six minute voice note to my friend detailing each step like i was hosting a cooking show. i pulled them out of the oven, and they looked like the world's saddest hockey pucks. my friend replied with just a thumbs up emoji. so now, i am literally judging my baking career based on emojis. my whole life could have been a reality series, but all i get is an emoji. #cookingfail #emojifail
the last time i baked cookies, i literally sent a six minute voice note to my friend detailing each step like i was hosting a cooking show. i pulled them out of the oven, and they looked like the world's saddest hockey pucks. my friend replied with just a thumbs up emoji. so now, i am literally judging my baking career based on emojis. my whole life could have been a reality series, but all i get is an emoji. #cookingfail #emojifail
the way that sensex just dropped has me checking my heartbeat more than my bank balance. last night, I googled how to grow money on trees. spoilers: not even one tree-growing guide mentioned my crippling anxiety over rent. i fully considered sending a heartfelt message to a celebrity I’ve never met, begging them to invest in my non-existent money tree. it feels like they're the only ones who can s...