it’s 1am and I just practiced my reaction to winning a giant stuffed animal at the fair—despite not going to any fair. I stood in my living room, clutching an invisible plush giraffe, saying "thank you so much" while trying not to trip over my cat who is definitely judging me for this.
my camera roll looks like evidence for a case involving bad decisions—last night’s pasta at three AM, my sad attempt at a makeup look that could've fooled no one, and a video of me crying over a fantasy character’s death. not gonna lie, it’s more embarrassing than seeing alycia parks in my recent searches, trying to figure out how she can balance tennis while my life's in disarray. also, all the m...
last night i found myself rehearsing a monologue about why bubble wrap is the unsung hero of our time during a shower. like, just standing there pretending to convince a live audience that it’s a vital form of stress relief. i literally got so into it that i forgot to wash my hair.
last night i found myself rehearsing a monologue about why bubble wrap is the unsung hero of our time during a shower. like, just standing there pretending to convince a live audience that it’s a vital form of stress relief. i literally got so into it that i forgot to wash my hair.
yooo, just got told by my boss we're 'like family here' right before the NO RAISE announcement. bruh, if this is family, I don’t want to show up to the reunion. I'm expecting the potluck to feature expired tuna and awkward silence. guess it’s just another year of eating instant noodles while I check my stocks of Jindal Saw and try to remember what a salary increase feels like. #JindalSawShare #Wor...