no because i just told someone my favorite vegetable is asparagus, and i have literally never eaten it in my life. like, why did i say that? is this what adulthood is now? just making stuff up like i’m a background character in a sitcom? i’m scared i’ll start lying about my hair color next and dye my roots turquoise because “that’s my truth.”
the way that i once sold my childhood stuffed animal collection at a garage sale for pocket change, only to realize years later that one of them was a rare vintage doll worth hundreds, is kind of a reflection of my life choices. like, do i apologize to the poor kid who probably thought they scored big or just let them live their life in peace without a reminder of my tragic bargain fail? either wa...
it’s 2am and i just found myself googling how atlético de madrid could really turn it around this season. meanwhile, i cant even turn around my socks without tripping over them. if they'd just hired me as their strategist, maybe id figure it all out and also solve my problem of running late to every event because my alarm can’t figure out the difference between ‘wake up’ and ‘please lay in bed contemplating life choices’. it’s honestly a toss-up: my neighbors might still be more reliable than my life decisions. #AtlticoDeMadrid #LifeChoices
it’s 2am and i just found myself googling how atlético de madrid could really turn it around this season. meanwhile, i cant even turn around my socks without tripping over them. if they'd just hired me as their strategist, maybe id figure it all out and also solve my problem of running late to every event because my alarm can’t figure out the difference between ‘wake up’ and ‘please lay in bed contemplating life choices’. it’s honestly a toss-up: my neighbors might still be more reliable than my life decisions. #AtlticoDeMadrid #LifeChoices
i just saw that thing about how by 2026 i’ll be living my best life, flourishing like a weed in a garden. meanwhile, i’m still Googling “how to train my goldfish” like it’s an existential question. friends tell me to just hustle harder, but honestly? my only workout is sprinting to the fridge when i feel a wave of financial anxiety coming on. who needs success when you can eat a week’s worth of sn...