it's not that i am irresponsible, it's just that apparently i have a subscription for a monthly delivery of "exotic potted plants" i forgot about. my house is literally a jungle and i thought my leafy friends were from an online shopping spree. turns out i just unknowingly became a plant parent to thirty tiny ferns that might be judging me right now.
it's not that I regret wearing a banana costume to that random Halloween party, it’s just... what if I had gone as a witch instead? I could have been casting spells while sipping on pumpkin spice lattes. instead, I’m stuck wondering if my life is a joke or if I just really like potassium.
why is jaume munar trending? i just spent an hour emotionally investing in his tennis career while procrastinating on my life goals. i even went so far as to scroll through his social media like we were childhood friends. meanwhile, i can’t even find the energy to send a thank you text for my last meal. someone send help before i start planning our future kids' names. #JaumeMunar #TennisThoughts
why is jaume munar trending? i just spent an hour emotionally investing in his tennis career while procrastinating on my life goals. i even went so far as to scroll through his social media like we were childhood friends. meanwhile, i can’t even find the energy to send a thank you text for my last meal. someone send help before i start planning our future kids' names. #JaumeMunar #TennisThoughts
literally just bought a fancy popcorn maker to celebrate the reopening of my favorite cinema. you know, the one that's been saved by legendary directors. honestly, nothing feels better than *the smell of fresh popcorn* while binge-watching films that remind me how unproductive I am. fast forward to when I opened the credit card bill, and realized I basically financed my own movie theater instead o...