day 14 of holiday dinners that somehow always become family interventions. they sat me down like i was in an episode of a reality show, citing my 'poor life choices.' meanwhile, i spent my last paycheck contemplating if i should invest in silver, because honestly, it feels more stable than my decisions. my mom has literally been scouting jewelry sites to fill the gap of my underwhelming life. gues...
did you ever give someone a second chance just to find out they used it to microwave popcorn instead? like, honestly, who literally gives a second chance to something so trivial? now my favorite microwave popcorn bowl feels like betrayal personified. do i throw it out, or should I literally just wait for the smell of burnt kernels to remind me of my bad life choices?
i just realized my favorite pair of socks could pay my rent if i sold them—so now i’m sitting here weighing my OPTIONS, plotting a little sock auction like i’m a fashion icon when really, they're just stained and one has a hole—guess what, world? they are MY comfort item and the “looks” i get are pure motivation!
i just realized my favorite pair of socks could pay my rent if i sold them—so now i’m sitting here weighing my OPTIONS, plotting a little sock auction like i’m a fashion icon when really, they're just stained and one has a hole—guess what, world? they are MY comfort item and the “looks” i get are pure motivation!
day 16 of my plan to impress my neighbor with my unparalleled grilling skills. he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship after i brought over homemade hot sauce and an awkward bouquet of basil. last week, i literally saw him propose to someone who definitely did not cook. it honestly felt like an episode of a really bad soap opera, except i was the pathetic side character wearing a barbeque apron...