sometimes i feel like the waiting lists are just a reminder that no one really cares, like we are all just stuck in a loop of noise and i am so tired of being the one who always asks for help but never gets it. i think i might just be meant to deal with this alone, alone for a long, long time.
so i just found out my plant that i thought was dying is actually thriving, like wow i was so ready for the heartbreak, thought it was all over, but here i am just staring at it in disbelief and feeling this weird mix of relief and joy. like did it just do that for me??
spent three hours on hold with insurance, listening to the same mind-numbing elevator music loop, only to get told my test results mean i need surgery, but oh wait, can't afford it because insurance denied the claim. all of this while contemplating how in the world i ever thought tech would make me happy—here i am, wishing for a magic wand to fix it all, or at least to mute their obnoxious hold music.
spent three hours on hold with insurance, listening to the same mind-numbing elevator music loop, only to get told my test results mean i need surgery, but oh wait, can't afford it because insurance denied the claim. all of this while contemplating how in the world i ever thought tech would make me happy—here i am, wishing for a magic wand to fix it all, or at least to mute their obnoxious hold music.
started keeping a jar for all the times people told me to be positive, so far it's just a lot of empty space and some lint. guess my optimism didn't survive the bus ride home after realizing that happiness is basically just a myth created to sell more coffee mugs.