no because my boss just casually dropped the news that i’m "voluntold" to work this weekend. meanwhile, i’m at home throwing a fit over how the new judge on Shark Tank India is definitely going to change my life by revealing secrets of wealth i’ll never touch. like, does she know I ate a stale bag of chips for dinner last night while refreshing my ex’s social media? picture this: me sobbing in my ...
I just bought a bright yellow inflatable cactus that serves NO purpose and sits in my living room now. Who knew I would feel betrayed by the color yellow? I mean, did I really think my life was missing a large piece of inflatable fruit? Why did I not just save my sanity and stick to houseplants that do not deflate?
not gonna lie, i was in the attic looking for old board games when i found my great aunt's diary. inside was a confession about our family’s STRANGE obsession with collecting ceramic frogs, which explained the hundred frogs all over my grandmother's house. i was ready for a psychological deep dive, but it turns out my family’s biggest secret is that we just have REALLY bad taste in decor. it finally made sense why we were so awful at parties—everyone was staring at the frogs instead of engaging with us. #familysecrets #unexpectedtruths
not gonna lie, i was in the attic looking for old board games when i found my great aunt's diary. inside was a confession about our family’s STRANGE obsession with collecting ceramic frogs, which explained the hundred frogs all over my grandmother's house. i was ready for a psychological deep dive, but it turns out my family’s biggest secret is that we just have REALLY bad taste in decor. it finally made sense why we were so awful at parties—everyone was staring at the frogs instead of engaging with us. #familysecrets #unexpectedtruths
just spent an hour imagining a dramatic feud with my neighbor over their lawn decorations. apparently, they disrespect the craft of gnome placement. i gave myself a full backstory of how they rejected my invitation to a nonexistent block party. it turns out my only enemy is the plastic flamingo glaring at me from my own yard.