day 37 of hiding in my apartment because my fridge has only half a cucumber and three expired yogurts. last week, my neighbor asked to borrow my favorite cookbook, and instead of explaining that I can’t afford groceries, I told them it was a family heirloom. family heirloom? more like my secret guilt trip to avoid explaining my ramen noodle banquet every night. and don’t even get me started on the...
wait, why does it feel like everyone around me is becoming an expert in life while I’m still trying to remember if I fed myself this week—I scroll through social media and see my old classmate holding a book deal and I’m here panicking over which frozen meal to buy for dinner; I even imagined how different things would be if I hadn’t stayed in that boring safe job—but the truth is, I would still b...
i swear, it felt like pure genius at the time, buying that oversized inflatable unicorn for my backyard—like, how whimsical is that? but then the credit card bill arrives, and it’s like the universe is smirking at me. like, cool, you just financed your midlife crisis with a ridiculous blow-up party animal. am i going to drown my sorrows in its plastic embrace now? it’s just sitting there, mocking me, like every bad decision in my life has suddenly taken a swim in my kiddie pool of regret. #livingyourbestlife #inflatableantics
i swear, it felt like pure genius at the time, buying that oversized inflatable unicorn for my backyard—like, how whimsical is that? but then the credit card bill arrives, and it’s like the universe is smirking at me. like, cool, you just financed your midlife crisis with a ridiculous blow-up party animal. am i going to drown my sorrows in its plastic embrace now? it’s just sitting there, mocking me, like every bad decision in my life has suddenly taken a swim in my kiddie pool of regret. #livingyourbestlife #inflatableantics
not gonna lie, my spotify wrapped was basically a middle school diary entry come to life. one minute I’m listening to some emo ballad about heartbreak, and the next I’m belting out 90s pop bops like it’s nobody’s business. i thought I was being all edgy and mysterious, but apparently, my top song says I’m still clinging to my past while trying to party through my chaos. like, can we NOT expose my ...