wait, just sent a text complaining about my flat tire. thought i was texting my friend, but nope. sent it to the actual mechanic. now he's literally charging me for emotional damage, and my pride's flatlined. like, do i offer to pay him in awkward small talk?
so there i was, planning my future with the barista who didn’t even glance at me during my last trip, while simultaneously stressing about where lawrence jones went on 'fox and friends' like my life depended on it, and now im overthinking if i should write the vows before the invitation list or the playlist, which i can’t even compose because im still trying to understand how my ex got an invite i...
last night, I bought a BRIGHT GREEN inflatable flamingo that literally serves NO purpose at all. I just thought, “what if I throw a pool party?” but the only water I have access to is my tiny sink. I can literally see this flamingo taking up space while I lay awake contemplating my life choices.
last night, I bought a BRIGHT GREEN inflatable flamingo that literally serves NO purpose at all. I just thought, “what if I throw a pool party?” but the only water I have access to is my tiny sink. I can literally see this flamingo taking up space while I lay awake contemplating my life choices.
honestly, I got into this literally wild parasocial beef with a fan account over their incorrect take on the S&P 500 futures. like, they said the market was “fully in recovery” while I’m over here struggling to recover from my last breakup. one minute I’m checking stock updates, the next I’m drafting an entire manifesto about how my heart also deserves a rally. my hot take? can we invest in my emo...