not gonna lie, I spent all morning researching the grey market, thinking it was about underground candy trading. then I realized, the only thing I’m trading is my sanity for a cubicle of endless spreadsheets—just me sitting there wondering if I’m gonna die of boredom or if I’m already too deep in this soul-sucking void. honestly, the last time I felt alive was the caffeine rush I had trying to dec...
just realized i spent all morning creating an elaborate game plan for a Texans versus Steelers prediction as if my life depended on it. meanwhile, my boss emailed me that I should prepare to train my replacement next week. so here I am, drafting player stats while simultaneously shopping for a funeral outfit in case I die from heartbreak after they trade me in like an old game console. will anyone...
just found out my great uncle was the notorious FENCER who stole art while dressed as a mime. suddenly my fear of performances makes SO MUCH SENSE. like—am I destined to turn into a confused criminal who can only express himself through gestures? because literally, all I wanted was to bake cookies on a Saturday night and now I might be plotting my next heist. #familysecrets #uncannyinheritance
just found out my great uncle was the notorious FENCER who stole art while dressed as a mime. suddenly my fear of performances makes SO MUCH SENSE. like—am I destined to turn into a confused criminal who can only express himself through gestures? because literally, all I wanted was to bake cookies on a Saturday night and now I might be plotting my next heist. #familysecrets #uncannyinheritance
wait, i just realized i ended up being the mediator in a group of friends who are actually in a secret competition to see who can make the most absurdly specific, unnecessary comments. who even cares about someone's opinion on how many socks you own? do we need a committee to discuss that? suddenly im sitting there like the judge on a bizarre reality show, waiting for them to declare a winner base...