lmao, just read about "the darwin incident" and it hit too close to home. i can’t pay my bills but i just ordered an inflatable unicorn pool float for my 'summer vibes' - its gonna sit in my apartment like a missed opportunity. bruh, the universe is making monkeys the next step in evolution and im over here drowning in choices i wont remember next month. #TheDarwinIncident #adultingstruggles
the way that i was just about to propose a taco night and found out my partner has been texting someone else, like who knew it would hit harder than a bad burrito. i spilled salsa all over my couch as if it’s not ruined already. sorry, furniture. should've seen this coming when they stopped complimenting my cheese dip. now i am left wondering if they’ll ever enjoy taco night again. #Sicario #lifei...
literally just imagined how my life would be different if I had decided to take that one yoga class instead of scrolling through weird conspiracy theories about plants. now I'm wondering if I could be doing sun salutations or... like, secretly converting my home into a mushroom cult. honestly, it's a little terrifying to think I might be in a healthier place right now, but instead I’m just here googling “how to cleanse your aura.” #whatsmylife #choicesmatter
literally just imagined how my life would be different if I had decided to take that one yoga class instead of scrolling through weird conspiracy theories about plants. now I'm wondering if I could be doing sun salutations or... like, secretly converting my home into a mushroom cult. honestly, it's a little terrifying to think I might be in a healthier place right now, but instead I’m just here googling “how to cleanse your aura.” #whatsmylife #choicesmatter
just realized i spent last night crafting a thank you speech for an award i literally will never win. i even practiced it in front of my bathroom mirror while half of my shampoo bottle watched like my biggest fan. it hit me that the only trophy i’m taking home is my toxic relationship with hope and shampoo. #DelhiHighCourt #UnwantedAwards